


A Heist Made For Six

by TheEveling



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Achievement Hunter Heists, Based on heists they've done for the most part, Canon-Typical Violence, Dudes get shot sometimes dude, Dudes kiss sometimes dude, Established Relationship, Fake AH Crew, GTA-verse, Immortal Fake AH Crew, Immortality, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-09 17:17:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5548811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEveling/pseuds/TheEveling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heists go a little differently when they aren't on the other side of a screen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Heist Made For Six

"I've got a bike," Ray announces, taking a wide berth around a telephone pole and pulling into an alley. He's stationed across the street and one building west (dubbed #88 by Geoff for whatever reason), with the perfect angle to snipe cops and the perfect wall to hide behind if things get rough. "I'm almost in position."

"Team Bravo and I are in position. How are you doing, Charlie One?" Geoff takes a moment to double-check the two guns he has on him. His vehicle is idling at the curb in front of the store they're robbing - he won't have time to check anything before he and Gavin go inside. "Any luck finding a bus?"

"Oh, I found something better than a bus," Michael replies, and the joy in his voice makes Geoff grin. "No way anybody's getting past this."

"I'm in position, Alpha One," Ryan says, pulling into the alleyway to idle a few meters away from Michael. "Ready when you are."

"Everyone ready?" Geoff grins, adjusting his weight, ready to open the car door. The sun is at the perfect point, where it just barely peeks above the horizon - dusk is the best time to stage a heist, after all. He gets his chorus of "yes" and "ready", and he's saying "Let's heist!" before Ray has a chance to really focus. 

Geoff and Gavin go into the store, not quite pointing guns at the clerk yet, and Jack gets out to place the explosives he's been provided with. Their only purpose is to cause confusion, so Michael's specifically tailored what they have to give the police a good show.

By the time Geoff and Gavin have the money, Jack is back in the getaway car and hearing sirens, and they don't sound too far off. Emerging from the store, Geoff asks Ray if he's ready for some action, and Ray responds by sniping the driver of the police car that's just stopped a few yards behind them. The second they're in the car, Jack speeds down the street, detonating the explosives and pulling a hard left into the alleyway. Michael pulls forward in a giant tanker as soon as they're through, effectively blocking off any patrol cars' entrance.

Michael climbs out of the truck, planting explosives on the side of the tank as Geoff switches to Ryan's car, which is identical to the one Jack is driving with Gavin. Ray takes out two more cars before climbing down from the roof of his building and retrieving his Sanchez from the alley below. Jack leaves the alleyway in plain sight as a decoy, so Ryan can leave much more quietly with the goods as Michael climbs onto the back of Ray's motorcycle, and he activates the explosives as Ray turns the corner out of the alley itself.

"Everyone get out fine?" Geoff asks, and Michael takes a moment to wrap his arms a bit more comfortably around his boyfriend's waist as Ray answers.

"Team Charlie is headed towards the rendezvous point. We should be there in less than an hour."

"Team Bravo is-" a brief squawk as Jack undoubtedly dodges something in the road, surprising Gavin "-having a bit of trouble, but it won't take long to lose the cops."

"Team Alpha is almost ready to initiate the next phase," Geoff replies. "We'll let you know when you can proceed, Team Bravo."

"Will do," Jack says, and the line goes silent save for the inevitable background noise of sirens and gunshots during a heist, as well as the rare "oh shit" from various ends. Luckily, it doesn't take long for Ray to outmaneuver the police, and from there they both know it's going to be smooth sailing.

"We're here, boys," Geoff says, an explosion ringing on his end soon after. They must have disposed of their car so they can get on the boat. "Team Bravo, lose the cops and meet us at the rendezvous point."

Gavin lets out a squeak as his window is broken, and glass rains down on his lap. "Good things these vehicles are stolen, isn't it? I'd hate to be the one to pay for that."

"I guess I don't need to ask if you're okay if you're still talking," Ryan replies.

"I don't know if we'll ever see a day Gavin doesn't," Jack says teasingly, and at Gavin's indignant bird noises, Ray lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He's tense. Michael can feel it, too, but for the moment, he's hoping he's just mistaking excitement.

Ryan has some difficulty maneuvering the boat out of the docks - he doesn't have a lot of experience with getaway boat driving. He takes another corner a little too tight, and narrowly misses a buoy as they finally make it out into open waters. A quick glance over at Geoff sees him counting the money.

"We got a good haul this time," Geoff says, and Jack can hear the grin in his voice. "Maybe next time we can actually pull off a bank."

Laughter fills the line as everyone remembers Gavin driving a fire truck into the bank they were heisting last week. He'd promptly exploded half of the crew when he realized he'd placed explosives somewhere, and detonated them to "figure out where I'd put them".

He'd put them on the truck.

Jack shares a brief glance with Gavin, who is definitely ready to protest, before turning his eyes back to the road. They've lost a good amount of the tail they'd had, but they still have quite a bit to go.

"I was knackered," Gavin reasons. "Who lets their teammate go on a heist after a few bevs?"

"Who gets drunk before a heist, asshole?" Michael can feel Ray silently laughing at his retort.

"To be fair, he only had one drink," Jack supplies.

"And he's the lightest featherweight in the world! He should have known not to drink before going out," Geoff says.

Jack grunts, swerving around a police car that had come from the opposing direction to block them. Gavin is already saying something back when Jack warns him to hold on, then takes what is almost a u-turn of a right into some backroads. He knows a few places they can hide until the police assume they've lost them and go looking for them elsewhere, and it doesn't take long to find the old construction site and drive into a tangle of industrial-size pipes, finding a spot in the center of the pile.

Michael and Ray come to a bridge, and Michael is in the process of asking how far Jack and Gavin are from the rendezvous point when suddenly he's flying through the air, then tumbling across some extremely uncomfortable terrain. He just barely catches himself from falling over the edge of the rocks into a river, and pulls himself into a reasonable position. He only notices the yelling once he's had a moment to catch his breath. 

"Charlie Team?" Geoff sounds almost frantic, as if he'd already called for them a few times with no reply. "Charlie Team, answer me. Are you active?"

"Fuck, I-" Michael can't see Ray anywhere, and staggers to his feet to look around the area. "I think we got hit by something, I don't know. I have to find - holy shit," Michael spots Ray (and the bike) at the other end of the bridge, and makes his way over to them as quickly as he can without fucking himself over, considering his unidentified leg injury and whatever the fuck happened to his arm. Ray is barely stirring when Michael reaches him, and it doesn't take long for Michael to notice the intense grazing on most of Ray's exposed skin, let alone the state of his glasses. No fucking way either of them are driving, he thinks as he kneels in front of Ray to pull the lad onto his lap.

"We need a pick-up," Michael says, his voice cracking as he interrupts the yelling he'd tuned out to find Ray. "We can't - I can't drive, and he's-"

Geoff doesn't even have to think about it. "Team Bravo, get the fuck over there, then continue en-route to the rendezvous point, ASAP."

Jack lets out a sigh of relief as the last police cruiser drives off into the distance. "We have to find a different car," he says, and Gavin is already prepared to get out. "Blow this one up with the quiet stuff."

Gavin gets out of the car to place the two bombs he has, setting the timers to detonate only after they're long gone. Jack pulls up nearby in a beat-up minivan, and Gavin doesn't bother complaining about the uncool car as he climbs into the passenger seat. He knows Jack will only say something about how no one suspects a family car, and there are enough seats for two people to be laid down, if need be.

Gavin tries not to think about that.

Ryan and Geoff are almost at the dock on the northwestern point of the island when Ryan says, "Team Charlie, how are you doing?" He hasn't been able to shake a sense of unease since Michael and Ray had first been hit, and he can still hear Michael scream if he lets his mind wander.

"We could be worse," Michael replies, sounding the smallest bit relieved. "I think he's close to waking up. Thank fuck he's asleep, he's got the shittiest road rash I've ever seen."

Ryan doesn't notice when he releases a quiet sigh of relief, but some of the tension in Geoff's shoulders falls away at the action. A few quiet moments later, the line fills with the sound of a distant explosion, as well as Gavin's laughter, and everyone smiles just a little bit.

"What happened to the quiet stuff, dumbass?" Michael asks, forgetting his dilemma for a moment.

"Well, its quiet to us, isn't it?" Gavin replies, laughter still lingering in his voice, and Michael just grumbles, digging up a few general insults. There's a sharp intake of breath, then silence, and no one dares say anything.

"Ray's awake," Michael finally says. "For now, at least."

"We're a few minutes out, Team Charlie," Jack says, casually weaving through what little traffic there is. At least there are no stoplights out in the middle of nowhere.

"It's fucking cold," Michael says, distractedly, as if he's talking to himself instead of broadcasting his thoughts to his teammates.

"Shit, dude," Ray says, groggily, and Geoff resists the urge to question him. "Are we still on the - fuck," Ray says. "Some asshole in a truck rammed us off the road. I couldn't get out of the way with the guardrail on my other side."

"Did you see what color the truck was?" Ryan doesn't want to alarm Ray, or anyone for that matter, so he doesn't express his worry, but he's seen too much gang interference in the past few years not to see it as an option...and if a rival gang is interfering, they have no idea how strong the Fake AH Crew really is.

Brief rustling as Ray sits up, presumably, then he replies, "It was a dark color, but I don't think it was black. I felt that it was a truck more than I saw it, anyways - Michael?"

Ryan isn't the only one who takes note of that information, what little there is, but he does think he's the only one who picks up on the vague tone of worry in Ray's voice when he asks after their teammate.

"Fucking bleeding and shit," Michael replies weakly. "Someone is buying me bevs later." Then he sags against Ray, not passed out yet but definitely getting there if the way his eyelashes flutter is of any indication.

"Team Bravo, where you at?" Ryan definitely isn't the only one to pick up on the slight panic in Ray's tone, and he hears Jack swear under his breath.

"I can almost see the bridge," Jack says, pushing the shitty car to its limit. The following "get ready" is obviously directed at Gavin, who is out of the car before the vehicle has stopped moving.

"Shit, Michael," Gavin mutters as he spots the injuries, and he looks over Ray, but the sniper just looks a bit roughed up. Probably hit his head - they'll have to check that out later, but his short bout of unconsciousness seems to have reversed most of whatever injury he had. "Certainly did a number on himself, didn't he?"

"Oops," Ray admits and he and Gavin carry Michael to the van. The two barely share a glance before Gavin climbs into the backseat to sit with Michael. Ray plays defense in the passenger seat, in case something else (nothing else, for the love of all that is holy, Ray hopes) goes wrong.

Gavin tries not to think about that, either.

Ryan docks the boat perfectly, and he and Geoff dismount without a hitch. "I feel bad for the guy who parked his car here to go hiking in the middle of the night," Geoff says as Ryan starts a pristine silver Sedan. "It won't be here when he gets back."

"It's a shame," Ryan says. "I bet we could get it back here before he gets back. It might be a little dented, some broken windows, missing a few tires, but I don't see why not."

"That's on you then, Alpha Two," Geoff says, only half-serious. "Let's focus on getting to the rendezvous point for now."

"I don't know, Alpha Two," Gavin says mockingly. "What was that about destroying all the evidence? Shooting everyone in the face?"

"You're right, Bravo Two," Jack pipes up. "Who knows what kind of DNA will end up in that car?"

Geoff counts off on his fingers. "Hair, skin cells, blood-"

"Semen," Ray interjects.

"-tears, saliva..."

"What the fuck kind of heist are guys doing?" Michael coughs once, voice hoarse, and attempts to sit up, only for Gavin to push him back down.

"Be a good boi and go back to bed," Gavin admonishes, just shy of baby-talk. Michael adjusts his arm, wincing when his forearm hits Gavin's chest, and Gavin gets a good view of the injury. "Christ, Michael, you're going to need one hell of a nap to fix that."

Geoff sounds like he's about to say something about that, but restrains himself. "We're at the lumberyard now, guys. Are you near the base of the mountain?"

"About to start climbing," Jack replies as Gavin fusses over Michael one seat back. "On the road up."

None of them expect any interference from there on out. They're close enough to the rendezvous point - the peak of Mount Chilead - that there isn't time for anything unplanned to happen.

Which is why they aren't expecting two cars at the peak full of guys with guns.

Obviously the guys with guns aren't expecting the Fake AH Crew to be the first to shoot - years of experience will do that to you - because they're pretty fucking surprised when Ryan parks the car on the mountain to launch a grenade in their direction, and Ray picks off the remaining few from the van.

They congregate at the very peak, Michael leaning heavily on Ryan as Geoff leads them to a cargobob that he's clearly relieved is still there. They pile in as Jack takes the driver's seat (because, as Geoff has once so eloquently put it, everyone knows Jack is the best pilot), and Ryan checks Michael over as they fly toward the apartment building. Michael half-heartedly swats away prodding hands, but his body feels the need to regenerate enough that he can't really feel them anymore anyways. All he wants to do is sleep.

"There he goes," Ryan says as Michael finally drifts off, resting in Geoff's lap. Ryan turns to Ray, and the lad's protests of "I just slid around a little" are ignored as the gent examines him.

"Well, you're going to have one hell of a headache in a while if you don't regen," Ryan says, closing the portable first-aid kit. "Who knows how long a concussion takes to heal, awake. You might want to take a sleeping pill when we get back."

"No time like the present to find out how long, right?"

No one really expects Ray to take anything, but Geoff still sends him a stern look, as if it'll help. Barely a moment later Jack is landing the cargobob on the roof of the apartment building, and Geoff carries Michael through the exterior door (Ryan holds the door for everyone, like the gentleman he is), into the maintenance room, then into the elevator. The ride is short, as they're only going one floor down to the penthouse, and Geoff immediately deposits Michael in the largest bedroom, the one the crew has long claimed as their own, though they certainly don't use it for sleeping.

"Ray, I know you probably want to be around when Michael wakes up, but try to regen afterwards, at least. I've tried running at half-capacity before, and trust me, it doesn't work."

"Thanks, man," Ray replies. "I'll see what I can do."

As everyone fully expects, Michael wakes up in a hell of a mood, as he always does after regen sleep. Really, all of them do, but Michael is "permanently in a mood", according to Gavin, so he's worse.

"How are you feeling?" Geoff says when Michael emerges from the hallway, bending down to plant a kiss on the lad's forehead.

"That depends," Michael says, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. "What's our takeaway?"

"Eleven thousand, after expenses," Geoff says, and he's about to start talking about the upgrades he wants to make until Ray interrupts their interaction with two arms around Michael.

"I'm sorry," Ray says, quietly. Hypothetically, only Michael can hear, but they both know that isn't really the case. "The crash was my fault, I didn't see it coming-"

"Do you hear yourself, Ray?" Michael says, pulling away to frown at the man in front of him. "The words coming out of your mouth don't make sense. 'It's my fault' and 'I didn't see it' don't belong in the same fucking sentence." Ray definitely wants to interrupt, to promise he'll make it up to him, but Michael ignores him, holding one of Ray's hands up so Ray can see the damage. "Do I look anything but alive to you? Go the fuck to sleep." Geoff conveniently produces two sleeping pills and a glass of water. Michael practically pushes Ray into the bedroom, taking the empty glass when he's satisfied.

Ray opens his mouth in an attempt to say something, anything, really, but Michael gives him a stern glare. "I've seen that look before. If you want to pay me back, do this for me," he sits on the edge of the bed, brows furrowed as he takes Ray's hand, adding, "Idiot," as more of an afterthought.

"If I had-"

"Shut up, you piece of shit," Michael admonishes, then stands, releasing Ray's hand. "I'll be back."

Jack isn't surprised when Michael emerges from the bedroom to ask them all to join him. Ray has always been the least willing to sleep if he doesn't have to - he probably thinks it makes him weak, to have to heal, but it's only because he constantly puts himself in danger, especially when things don't go according to plan.

Gavin is the first to curl up beside Ray, which isn't a surprise, seeing as Gavin is the first to snuggle in any situation. Ray teasingly pleads Michael to lay on his other side, but Michael doesn't need much encouragement. Geoff and Ryan find their places, and finally, so does Jack.

Ray drifts off to Gavin asking someone whether they like refrigeration or reverberation better. He isn't quite awake enough when he remembers what color the truck that had run them off the road was, or the familiar face of the driver. He really should tell Geoff, he thinks, but by then it's too late, and he's already under.

Hopefully he remembers when he wakes up.


End file.
